We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i dont even know how to be here
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
