then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
