i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
