I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
