she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
