a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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