i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
