dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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