Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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