All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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