just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Found your dick twin last night
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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