I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
