if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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