pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
