Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
