We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
