so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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