I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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