I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just blew my weed a kiss
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
