You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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