id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
