Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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