So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I cannot find my penis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
