3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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