I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
