Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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