you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
