he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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