That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
