The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
