I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Rumble strips road head = magical
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
