OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
