She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
