i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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