Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
