she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
