I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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