Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
