Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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