is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Holy shit dude........stairs
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