Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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