I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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