Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This is my gift to your gina
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
