I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
