Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
