the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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