I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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