did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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