just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
