is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
