i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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